The 30 day challenge you’ll never accomplish

Everybody’s into 30 day challenges. Awesome. Enjoy. Explore. Everybody’s into showing and sharing their challenges. Maybe sometimes more than actually DOING the challenge. But hey, that’s not everyone. Just like it’s not everyone who travels or goes somewhere JUST for the posts and likes. Still a reality though. Challenges are great, but the motive is greater. The reason, the purpose and goal. People have their own reasons. You have yours, I have mine. I did a 30 day yoga challenge and I fucking loved it. Definitely out of my comfort zone, at least with flexibility and rhythm. Besides martial arts and meditation, it was always weight lifting and cardio for me, so this was a great mind-body training experience. Point is, challenges are awesome, but we sometimes fall into the trap of going after a challenge to prove something, rather than to experience it. Prove something to ourselves, or to others, but the magic is in the experience, and the experience is always personal. Some challenges are much more obvious than others, so the accomplishment might seem more obvious, i.e. more satisfying, rewarding, and especially interesting to show off on social media. If there’s one thing I despise, it’s building an entire image for the world to see, but one that betrays your authentic self. Just a shit show of fakeness. This fakeness I see right into how people behave publicly with others versus what they say and think behind their backs.

So, this leads us into the 30 day challenge you’ll never accomplish. In fact, even in the small likelihood of you accomplishing it, not a single fucking person is gonna know about it. No one to congratulate you. No one for you to show off to. It’s not even an accomplishment you could really share, because by doing that, you actually run the risk of betraying that accomplishment. That challenge is NOT TALKING SHIT, i.e. NOT JUDGING. It’s actually a two-in-one challenge, so it’s even more intense. Talking shit about others, and then talking shit about yourself. For some people, that shit is so automatic you don’t even realize you’re doing it. You just can’t help yourself. I would argue it’s a self-defense mechanism, or a way to find safety by categorizing people and putting them in boxes so you know what to expect. You draw instant conclusions about people in a matter of seconds right after you scan them up and down and size them up. Then you label them usually with one or two words. Weird, loser, fat, ugly, trash, dumb, republican, democrat, liberal, conservative, left, right, rich, fuckable, immigrant. 

Or it’s quick comments. “What the fuck is she wearing?! His nose is ugly. Who eats this? He needs a haircut. Her ass is too big. Oh my god, look at the white in her hair!”

Forget 30 days, you couldn’t even go a single fucking day without judging someone. What the fuck, Mark?! I can’t have a single thought without being told I’m judging the world. Of course, you can’t just force your mind to shut or block out thoughts. Hell, I’m not even telling you not to. You do whatever the fuck you want. I just want you to imagine the amount of comments and judgements you throw at people, but especially the amount you must receive from people. It can only be by the hundreds a day. From strangers in the mall to your relatives and family at home. That’s just comments. Imagine thoughts. Must be in the thousands a day, besides the shit thoughts you throw against yourself. The judging comments you say to yourself. That’s the bigger challenge, you know. How many times do you look at yourself in the mirror and think good thoughts about yourself, versus the amount of times you find something shitty to think or say? Maybe it explains why you judge people so much. How will you find anything good to say about others when you’re loaded with shit thoughts about your own damn self? 

Judging comes from lack of understanding. When you understand, you don’t judge. Your opinions aren’t quick. You research before getting to a conclusion, and your conclusion isn’t demeaning to someone else’s worth, because you UNDERSTAND. It takes a little extra effort to seek to understand someone rather than judging them. And guess what? It takes a little extra effort to understand yourself rather than judging yourself. Understanding might very well be the root of wisdom. Deep knowledge and insight. But that’s not something you can just celebrate after 30 days or share directly on social media. At least, not so much as a clearly visible accomplishment as much as an experience. So tell me, what kind of experience would it be for 30 days, to seek to understand people, and then to understand yourself? What kind of experience would it be to not judge yourself for 30 days? Not talk shit? Not jump to conclusions about people? How would you feel? Even when people talk shit about you, you still wouldn’t? You wanna try it? It’s not easy. It’s the hardest challenge you’ll ever undertake, but also the most rewarding, ‘cause fuck is the mind difficult and sneaky and overwhelming, and boy is it satisfying to overcome it, to rise above it. It’s greater than climbing Everest. 

If you care about wisdom, and if you care about kindness, try this challenge. Don’t hate yourself if you find yourself judging. Just keep up the practice. See how you grow. See how your life changes.